Friday, September 09, 2005

Back Up Spouse

I was watching the Today show this morning and they had a topic on the Backup spouse. And the positive things and the negative things on it. Did you ever make that deal with a friend that if you turn 30 and are not married you will marry each other? I made this deal with most likely 5 people over my lifetime. Just in case some of them got married... when I was 15 I took this seriously.

I forgot all about it till I watched this news story. It made me start to think of the first one I ever made I think... his name was Justin. We were the best of friends when I was in 9th grade. My parents even liked him.. I remember meeting Justin... he was friends with my brother and came up to me at school. He was wearing black wingtip shoes, nice dress pants and a purple silk button up shirt... this was the early 90s when rayon and silk shirts might have been in style. For me I normally did not talk to the kids that wore outfits like that. But Justin soon became my best friend at school. We were together all the time. We hung out on weekends and at night together. I remember we went to an all ages club in St. Louis called Bastille's and he wore the only T-shirt that he owned which looked like a brand new Harley Davidson T-shirt with a huge eagle and logo on it. I remember I dressed like a bum those days... long johns under my shorts, my purple doc martins some random band T and a floppy hat or something along those lines... I was far from in style... and I didnt care what anyone thought. Justin and I would go shopping in the U-city Loop and soon he had brown baggy skater jeans and t-shirts and I pretty much molded him into what I really wanted in a boyfriend. My parents told me I ruined him. Although I am pretty sure he was never my boyfriend. Our relationship was wonderful back then. Saturday we would go out shopping and hanging out for records and skateboard crap... around 5 PM he would take me home and go pick up his date for the evening. Sometimes he would even pick me up and give me a ride to wherever I needed to go then go on his date. I never seemed to get jealous of whoever he was dating. The day I moved from St. Louis to Alabama he was one of the 2 people I really missed. We kept in contact over the first couple years. We both graduated high school and lost contact for a long time. The internet came into my life when I began community college and I found a website with him on it and photos of his girlfriend. Justin had changed so much over the years. He went to medical school. He does not consider himself hip! My parents always told me I needed to marry a doctor! A couple weeks ago he sent me an email.

He lives in Boston now. He is engaged now. I guess I will cross him off the list of back up spouse. I think it is always sad when you think of people you loved getting married. Maybe it is just a slight jealousy that they met someone that they were compatible with first? Maybe because they were your backup and now they can no longer be. So if there are any other financially stable doctor types out there that are looking for a dreamer with huge plans to take over the world.. that do not mind someone in major debt that is mentally unstable, in their late 20s that feels like they never really want to grow up. Somedays my hair is pink others orange... and currently blonde. I think I want someone that is a complete opposite of me. I like to wear jeans and t-shirts. I want someone that wants to wear 3 button fitted italian suits with a ticket pocket. I want a metrosexual man that is interested in a tom boy, roller skating, angry youth. I think I have set my standards a little too high.